Look Ahead.

Grief. Guilt. Forgiveness. Joy.

Mar 11, 2024

Welcome or welcome back to Bits and Pieces! Whether you're new or have been journeying with us for a while, your presence is appreciated.

I've been intending to increase my posting frequency, but lately, I've been fully immersed in living life to the fullest. I've been immersing myself in moments of joy, savoring every sip of matcha, exploring new cuisines and recipes, delving into diverse cultures, uncovering fresh melodies, adapting to winter's challenges, embracing solitude, and embracing the person I've become, all while on a journey of healing.

As I compose these words, I find myself approximately 2,250 miles away from my hometown.

As a Black Caribbean woman, I've been captivated by the enchanting beauty of snowflakes, felt the chill of winter's embrace, and now, I yearn for the warmth of spring. The longing for the sun surprises me; some days, I ache for the familiarity of my island home—the food, the scenery, and most of all, my dear mother (I've always been a mama's girl).

“There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.”

—Khalil Gibran

In recent months, I've come to recognize how much I've dwelled on the past. I've caught myself replaying countless scenarios in my mind, pondering what could have been, but isn't, and what should have happened, but didn't.

At a crossroads, I had to choose: remain tethered to bygone days or embrace the promise of tomorrow.

Grief has a peculiar way of manifesting itself.

It ebbs and flows like the tide, yet sometimes it crashes over you like a relentless storm. I often find myself oscillating through its stages, grappling with feelings of guilt.

For too long, I carried guilt—for prioritizing my well-being, for not mourning deeply enough, for leaving people and places behind, for not succumbing to homesickness. Before I knew it, grief had me feeling guilty for simply existing, for rediscovering love for life, for relishing in joy.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

—Marianne Williamson

How do I combat this guilt?

First and foremost, I grant myself forgiveness. I absolve myself for the times I betrayed my instincts, violated my boundaries, and placed others' needs above my own. I extend forgiveness as often as necessary.

I also practice gratitude. I am grateful for what was, what is and what will be. I am grateful for what is gone and what is coming.

When grief morphs into guilt, I practice self-compassion. I remind myself that it's permissible to live, to breathe, to revel in novel experiences. It's acceptable to embrace joy.

Affirmations:

The past is immutable; I opt to glean wisdom from it, not be enslaved by it.

Life unfolds in my favor; it's a journey of growth, not adversity.

I choose to extend myself toward joy, to embrace its warmth.

How are you cultivating joy in your life presently?

Look Ahead.

Grief. Guilt. Forgiveness. Joy.

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